Billy the Ex-Bethelite

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Posts by Billy the Ex-Bethelite

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  46

  Former Unbaptized Publisher, New Here

  by GloomySunday in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  former unbaptized publisher, here.. i'm new to the forums and have hesitated for months to join this forum.

  i was raised in a jw family, and was never baptized, because one of my parents didn't think i should be baptized early.. my mother became inactive, but i eventually went back for social contact, eventually starting a study.

  i raised a few questions, only to find that the conductor would get irritated and defensive when my questions would get deeper into the topic.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome!
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  67

  Another Suicide

  by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  there wouldn't have been any good way to hear the news i suppose.

  it's just so strange to recall the conversation yesterday.

  my "still in" parents are with me and my inactive sister having a pleasant conversation.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  *sigh*

  There wouldn't have been any good way to hear the news I suppose. It's just so strange to recall the conversation yesterday. My "still in" parents are with me and my inactive sister having a pleasant conversation. After a pause, Mom asks me, "You knew NG from the neighboring congregation?"

  "Of course. How's he doing?" I ask.

  Mom: "He committed suicide a few weeks ago."

  I immediately burst into tears.

  As much as I prepare for anything that might come up in conversation with my parents, I wasn't prepared for that. NG and I had been in bethel together for over a decade. Although we didn't work together or have the same congregation, we had many friends in common and would always laugh a lot when we did get to socialize. He was the kind of nice, friendly, funny guy that was just really likeable.

  I can't remember the timeline exactly between when he got married and I left bethel. But he and his wife continued in bethel for a few years. It was after I'd started posting here that I'd heard that he had moved nearby. Since I was starting to plan my fade and I was already so busy, I didn't put much effort into reconnecting with him. But we did get to visit a few times and talk about post-bethel life. He knew that I'd left because of depression and I'd told him about the hardships of my work after leaving. He didn't give a lot of specifics, but it seemed that they'd been asked to leave in the ongoing bethel purge. Knowing his circumstances, I knew it was going to be tough for them coming out into a terrible economy, but if I could handle it, I knew he could.

  The last time we visited, I filled him in on my removal as an elder and my plans to go to uni. He filled me in on what was going on with them and some of our friends in common. I sure didn't imagine that it was the last time I'd see him before he would take his life.

  Now looking back I feel like I should have seen or asked or cared more. He probably had to settle for the first sh!tty job after bethel he could find because you leave with no unemployment, no real references. I think he and his wife were living with someone else and probably had no insurance. He went to a congregation that was just recovering from serious problems. I remember going through a lot of that stuff. It was certainly depressing for me. But there's no going back to try to save him. It's just so sad.

  Mom and Dad didn't have much any other details than that he'd evidently stopped taking medication for depression. We speculated that he couldn't afford the pills he needed or the expense of going to a psychiatrist for treatment. And they don't know what his widow's plans are.

  Of course, Mom apologized for breaking the news so indelicately. She didn't realize that I'd known him so well.

  As if that news wasn't shocking enough, they told me that a friend of his, another brother in the same congregation, committed suicide a couple weeks later. His memorial service was just a few days ago. I didn't really know this brother well, but news of any suicide is, and will probably always be something very painful for me to hear.

  That makes a sad total of 8 JW men that I've known who have committed suicide, including 2 ex-bethelites. Maybe it's time for me to stop keeping count, but I just can't forget them.
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  42

  Why do all the COs have food intolerances/allergies/special dietary requirments?

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's a well known phenomenon i've observed from jwn, my own cos. a new co we had once who was fresh from being a normal elder and after a couple of visits he said, "well i've finally become a true co...i now have food intolerances.".

  i mean, only once did my husband and i ever have a co around for dinner and they couldn't eat this, he couldn't eat that, she couldn't eat this...it was so hard to cook something with none of the zillions of things they were 'allergic' to.. and then after all that the wife couldn't come anyway because she had a naturopath appointment or something.. why do all co's seem to have weird dietary problems?.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  When they'd come to Patterson for the Travelling Overseer School, so many of them would have such a fit that they couldn't request their special meals. Such a bunch of pampered dictators.
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  25

  So very confused and scared!

  by MissConfused in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am so nervous and waited for long to speak to someone on my faiths and beliefs!

  i am from a non-christian background, a hindu.

  i got to know 'the truth' (or myth) from my hubby while we were working.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome!

  You've been duped by a 19th century American religion that has survived into the 21st century using money and lies. It makes many promises of a better life, a good life filled with loving friends and a hope for the future. However, it's a scam. The promised paradise is now 100 years late. The supposed friends you get are conditional and very judgmental. If you are interested in Christianity, learn what the Bible says about peace, love, and forgiveness. Jesus never built a church or printing press.
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  9

  My story... how do I deal with my family from here?

  by unfamiliar in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  nice to "meet" you all :).

  i have been reading this forum for maybe a month now, and it has helped me answer alot of questions that i have had, and i must say i am extremely glad i found this forum, so full of information!.

  i'll tell my story, i'll try to keep it short.. i grew up with my whole family being jw.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome! Congrats on never getting dunked as a JW.

  "How do I deal with my family from here? What do I say to make them not try to "get me back"?"

  What they will do or say is hard to predict. For starters, since it sounds like your time spent with them is at their house, option #1 is always to make an excuse to just leave.

  "I am afraid my dad will KEEP spending every minute I am there telling me things like "oh look at that beautiful butterfly, isn't it amazing what Jehovah designed?""

  Response: "Yes, and isn't it amazing the way Jehovah designed female mosquitoes to eat blood? And not just one species of mosquitoes, there are 3500 discovered unique species. And such a loving design by Jehovah for these mosquitoes to spread deadly diseases such as malaria and West Nile virus. Annually, mosquitoes transmit disease to more that 700 million people, that's nearly 100 people infected for every JW publisher. Since West Nile virus was discovered in 1937, scientists say that it evolved from some other virus. However, Bible teachings would require us to believe that Jesus has been creating diseases like WNv and HIV since he was enthrowned in 1914. Mosquiteos truly are an amazing creation of Jehovah, telling us so very much about his personality."
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  17

  A day in the life of a fading JW

  by dissonance_resolved in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm five months into my slow fade and it's going so-so.

  my saturday morning was spent on a 3-mile jog and taking the kids to the park, which was great, but i'm still shuddering from the potential alternative.

  at the last meeting, an elderette literally blocked the exit to prevent my escape and said she just "noticed" that we were in the same field service group and would i like to work with her in service on saturday?

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Sounds like you're doing better than so-so. You've been handling things very well. Hang in there!
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  36

  WTS in trouble in Denmark

  by zed is dead in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.dr.dk/nyheder/andre_sprog/english/2013/07/25/132435.htm.

  zed.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Interesting. Yet another reason to love the Danish!
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  79

  Role Reversal: Placing 1969 Awake with JW's Manning the New Portable Literature Displays

  by snapdragon4 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in recent weeks the jw’s here in the uk have been setting up their new portable watchtower literature displays in my local town square on a saturday morning.

  as they hadn’t knocked on my door for at least five years, and consequently feeling somewhat neglected, i thought that i would pay them a visit instead.. .

  the first thing i needed to do was arrange my literature.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Wow! Very well done!
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  33

  First post

  by EastCoastMindFree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been on this site lurking for over 2 years and this is my first post, i feel so bottled with emotion that i have to let it out somehow so i do not have an emotional breakdown!

  i was raised in the organization and am married with 2 children ages 4 and 2. my wife and i have been inactive for about 2 years and i have always had hard questions that were never answered growing up, such as blood policy and how david and his men were allowed to eat from the bread reserved for the high priests without death penalty since it was life or death.

  carbon dating on human remains/tools that date back 30-40k years, far surpassing the 6k year man creation date, the double standards and very real "human" aspect on the organization and its decisions and history.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome!
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  52

  Intro - First time Post- Ventilation (it's a good read actually)

  by BLWashington in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  currently from houston, tx, but spent most of my life in chicago.

  i've never had an opportunity to just get this out... so i apologize for the long-windedness in advance... .

  i spent the first 17 years of my life in a jw home, then the real world caught up to me.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story. I think you should relate your experience at the DC